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arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she used to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

whoatakeiteasyman:

no mom, do not ask that relative if they want to talk to me next on the phone.

chelsdamelsp:

snorlaxatives:

when people don’t realize that i’m being sarcastic 

image

What on earth where do these gifs even come from

landorus:

cashier: that’ll be $4.20

me: bruh

cashier: bruh

theprettylittleblogger:

I’m ready for autumn so that I can wear comfortable sweaters, plaid, and boots while drinking tea or hot coco by a slightly opened window. To be able to look up and see a swoosh of air carrying colorful leaves all around me. To wake up in the morning with a small chill in the air, wrap myself up in my blanket, and layer my clothes with scarves and beanies. Then after the day is done, eat my worries away in a slice of pumpkin pie.